Mayhem Rules

The Mistress of Mayhem, at the ripe old age of 7, has been on a roll lately. Today, while she is recovering from strep and sort of out of commission, I thought I'd share some of her recent funnies.

Last week, while flipping through channels, I paused at Entertainment Tonight. Joan Collins was touting her latest book of beauty secrets. She was asked the secret to staying so young and beautiful looking. "That's simple. I have lots and lots of sex!" Joan declared. Mayhem chose that moment to come through the room. "Oh baloney!" she scoffed, "I don't have lots and lots of sex and I'm beautiful!" I had to stifle my laughter and didn't dare ask her what she knows about sex.

Early this week Mayhem told me that she no longer loves Noah. She wrote him a letter that she was going to leave on his desk Monday before going on the field trip. I asked to see the letter before she sealed it up in the envelope.

"Dear Noah,

You broke my heart and I hate you for it.

Love,

XXXX (Mayhem)"

Then there was her reaction to having 20 doses of antibiotics to take because of the strep. She took dose number one with her dad while I was work. I arrived home to the news that she took her first dose bravely. "It was disgusting! And I have 19 stinkin' more doses to go."

That's just this week. She's done things like putting my favorite lipstick on the Yellow Lab... made Coca-Cola geysers spurt forth from my washing machine by adding full cans to the working machine, locked the babysitter out of the house...

Think her April Fools' Day birthday has anything to do with it?