Lab Results

Hi. I'm Bruno. I'm doing the blogging today. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for my turn at the computer!

Here's what you need to know to know about me. I'm a good dog. I'm a really good dog. 120 lbs. of good dog! Seriously. My kids lay on me. They put bandages on me. They use me for a bean bag chair. They turn my ears inside out and play doctor on me. When I'm tired of my kids bugging me, I get up, dump them off, and go in another room. I didn't even care when Mayhem put red lipstick on me! Do you know how long it took to get it off my lovely fur? When my human mom has a migraine, I get up beside her on the bed and stay with her until it's gone. My human mom rescued me when I was 8 weeks old from an organization that finds homes for unwanted pets. My siblings and I had all been dumped. (She rescued Coco Loco from the dog pound. That's another story for another day.)

My point is this. I'm a good, good dog. That's all I'm trying to make clear. At my house, I'm not the dog that gets in trouble. Usually. So the incident the other day with the alpaca? That was a fluke.

Wait. You didn't hear about that? Good. I'll tell my side.

My human mom has a lot of yarn. More yarn than you know. I love to give it a good sniff when it comes into the house. It's mostly wooly, sheepy stuff, but to be honest, I'm just not all that interested. Once she has those pointy sticks in there, I really don't want to be bothered with it. Mom gives me plenty of rawhide chewies to play with, and a Kong full of peanut butter is much, much better than yarn.

But the other day she was knitting with a little ball of some dark yarn I hadn't sniffed before. It wasn't a big ball of yarn like she usually has. This was just a little itty bit of yarn. Sniiiiiffffffff. Yummm. What is that?? What's that smell?? I shoved my head under her arm to make Mom pay attention to me, and get closer to that yummy stuff. sniff, sniff, snuffle, snort, sneeze

About that time she took the pointy sticks out of the aromatic yarn and let Absent Minded Professor pet the yarn. Seeing my opportunity, I turned toward him and took another big sniiiiiiffff. I just couldn't help myself guys. My mouth just opened and the next thing I know that yarn swatch jumped into my mouth and I was drooling all over it and running around the room like I did when I was I was a puppy! I ran to the right, and the kids chased me. I dodged left behind the recliner. Wheeee! What fun, the chase was on!

The kids were squealing and chasing me. Mom was demanding, "Bruno, drop the alpaca!" I was behaving in a way totally unbecoming my six years of age. The scent and taste of alpaca filled my head and I just went nuts. Finally, Mom got the kids to stop making so much noise and then commanded me to sit. At that point I figured I better drop that yummy stuff or risk having to go to the crate; I haven't been there in years. You know, doggy jail. I handed over the yarn, a bit wet, but not chewed.

You know, looking back, I should have just done what Mayhem always does when she wants something... snuggled up to Mom, turned up the charm, batted the puppy dog eyes, and said, "Can we buy one, please, please, please?" I have a feeling there won't be anymore alpaca coming into this house.