Saturday, July 21, 2007

Three for One? Not today!

Get ready to laugh and shake your heads in wonder at this tale, dear readers. My last entry ended with the words "Some men are so full of shit," in reference to a muggle who spent a great deal of time and energy on me, Sarah Lou and Johari. OK, first, I will say he was a little entertaining, and I did, because of my innate orneriness, encourage him a teensy little bit.

The three of us met up after dinner at a coffee shop we don't usually frequent. We had been there a while, each of us working on a different project, when I excused myself to go to the ladies' room. When I returned, Sarah told me about a guy up at the counter ordering something. He had come in and instantly gravitated toward Johari's project, a scarf knit with lime green, sparkly chenille. (I snuck a peek and saw him neatly dressed in a blue polo shirt and khaki pants.) She and Sarah were seated in armchairs facing each other in front of a fireplace. Muggle Man made a big fuss over the knitting, according to Sarah. I had plunked myself back down on the floor in front of the fireplace, looking out toward the room, laughing about the overly enthusiastic muggle and resumed sock knitting. A few seconds later, he returned with a drink and a lemon bar.

"Whoa, there were only two of you before, now there's another one! What? Did you two just knit her while I was up there getting my dessert?" he asked incredulously. "You weren't there a few seconds ago," he said addressing me.

"I just came out of the fireplace," I answered back to him. Sarah and Johari were giggling. They said something about being fast knitters.

"This is so cool. I don't know anything about knitting," Muggle Man said, "What are you making?" he asked each of us in turn. Sarah was working on the Tulip Baby Sweater, Johari the scarf, and I was knitting the already-mentioned socks. "That's a sock?" he asked. "No way!"

"Way!" I said, "Look... abra cadabra!" I reached down into my bag and pulled out the completed half of the pair. Muggle Man reached for the sock to examine it.

The wooden, straight-backed chair that I had abandoned was facing me, and Muggle Man finally asked if he could sit down and join us. "I don't have any knitting though," he said. We agreed he could sit and at that point he pulled the completed sock onto his hand and said, "This must have taken at least, like, a week. And now it's a sock puppet!" Not being able to resist, I had to see if he would make the sock puppet talk. Nope. He was chicken. "She's the bad one, isn't she?" he asked Sarah and Johari about me.

Muggle Man showed extreme curiosity about row counters, but I think that was mainly because Sarah's was wedged against her chest as she knitted. I suppose if we had described it as an odometer, it might have made sense to the guy, but the discussion wouldn't have been nearly as much fun. As it was, learning that it had to be turned by hand and not by other body parts was disappointing to him.

Shortly after that, the discussion went to needles. Well, honestly, the discussion went to needle size. Yes, the words length and girth were used. Muggle Man dared ask the question, "Which do you prefer, length or girth?" (What is it with men and size, anyway??? Just learn to use what you have the right way!) Sarah diplomatically answered, "It depends on the project." Muggle Man also bravely explored the current marital status for each of us. At one point I was told I have gorgeous feet, (Thank you for that... I think.) and my tan was admired. He kept going back to Johari's bright green chenille, though.

And then, I kid you not, the mother of all cliche pick up lines came out. "So, do you all come here often?" We just told him we knit together regularly, but not usually there. All of a sudden, Muggle Man, who we learned by then was Dan, saw someone he thought he recognized. Yep. A lady he knew from his church was at the counter ordering coffee. Bye-bye knitters. Gotta go say hi to the other lady and behave differently.

On the flip of a dime, Muggle Man went from being outrageous flirt to professional and well-behaved. We knitters, however, continued to be ourselves!

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8 Comments:

Blogger Jeanne said...

ROTFLMAO!!!

Funny story! :-) Needle size, my left... shoe.

Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 4:02:00 AM EDT  
Blogger La Cabeza Grande said...

I love poking a stick at the stupid ones. Mr. Suave was just about to get his cover blown. Nicely played, knitters!

Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 8:23:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous Melissa said...

HAHA! That is so funny! You should have shown him your little sweater pasties... LOL! ;)

Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 9:47:00 AM EDT  
Anonymous susan said...

good story, some folks make it so hard NOT to make fun of them.

Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 5:40:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous tiennie said...

OK - how random of that guy!

Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 7:14:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Renee said...

I love using the word "muggle!" I would have been laughing my ass off at you ladies!! You should trek to MI again soon I think....

Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 7:48:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Johari said...

I think my favorite part of the evening was when he went outside to take a call and his lady friend came over and told us they knew each other from church. That was the icing on the cake for me!

Monday, July 23, 2007 at 9:12:00 AM EDT  
Blogger Dana said...

I wouldn't expect you to behave any other way! Funny how some people DO flip that fast though.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 at 12:16:00 PM EDT  

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